So I still can’t seem to come to a decision on just what I want this blog to be about. I tend to be indecisive about things in life on occasion (anything from picking a place to eat, what book to read, love life [eeek], groceries, etc. is fair game). I am convinced that a lot of my indecisiveness stems from the fact that my brain is a wee bit overactive so it literally jumps all over the place in the span of a few seconds. I’m not talking the normal kind of overactive but moreso the I can’t seem to slow things down up there so I will just do as much as I possibly can until my head explodes but I don’t need sleep because my brain is going 5000 mph while I’m trying to focus on a philosophy book and watch a movie and cook all at the same time type thing…and I do believe it has come close at times (this is mania by the way…which I clinically have but more on that fun subject at another time).  And speaking about indecisiveness…I could open up a can of worms on this when it comes to my “love life” …or lack there of. I must admit I have had some interesting, fun, and even some insanely creepy chapters (stalkers, men who want to feed mashed potatoes to me with their fingers) in that part of my life. I frustrate myself horribly with my nonsensical relational issues when it comes to a significant other. I want to be alone but I also want to have someone around to experience life’s joys and sorrows with…makes perfect sense, right? Another problem…my best friends have always been male (with 1 exception). No matter what anyone says that makes it VERY difficult to be in most relationaships. And on top of that I’m not all lovey dovey…I’m just not, period. The other problem is that those best friends of mine tend to be good looking and this does not help matters at all. Why can’t there be this person out there who isn’t intimidated by this, and who likes to read and talk ideas but who also likes to be outside or watching football or spending time with my family…basically a Jord (jock-nerd)?  I have no idea what I’m saying right now to be honest I’m just letting my brain ramble…this could be dangerous :)

Well here goes with the randomness that I warned of…I don’t even want to be talking about my love life, so why am I? Maybe because it frustrates me so, which makes no sense because I am perfectly happy in life doing my own thing (at least for the moment). I must admit that none of my thoughts or feelings ever stay permanently (courtesy of the Brilliant Madness).

I think I’m done for the day…maybe I’m bothered with my odd lack of love life since it’s close to the holidays and I see all these cute couples everywhere. Sometimes I wish I were one of them…then about 30 minutes after that I’m glad I’m not. Maybe the right guy just hasn’t shown up yet and made me want to be in Crazy Stupid Love…and apparently the one I’ve been around for 13 years isn’t it…or is he? I think it gets even more complicated when that person is your very best friend in the world.

I mean if things worked with us it would be this epic love store…literally! A movie could be made. But having said that I’m convinced that some love stories aren’t epic films, some are short stories…but that doesn’t make them any less filled with love.

Wow…never put that in writing before but I still believe it. Maybe there is an epic story out there for me…but my gut tells me I haven’t found it yet (and while that is exciting, part of the truth behind it breaks my heart in a million pieces…and would break someone elses as well).

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